[ It has to be the stupidest thing to have a talk like this over text.
But he remembers how well this didn't go when they talked about his dad's deaths (or, you know--his dad told him about them and how okay they were or whatever), and maybe this doesn't have to just be a coward's way of doing this. Or it can be that, but it's better than feeling ready to flip his shit than if he was doing this in his dad's presence.
Whether it'd be fair to, or not. He can never settle himself whenever he thinks about his dad and death, where he wants to scream about the entire thing.
So, text it is. It's like a letter, right, Tory? A letter he doesn't have to screw up the paper each time he starts and restarts, so many 'hey dads' reinserted and removed; the order he brings up points, the tone.
It takes longer to write than to read, probably. ]
i want you to tell me about your deaths. i'm not going to answer back right away and you don't have to either. this is just easier than a letter.
i know about darth maul and i know about luna and paimon. or peter. but i want to hear everything from you.
[ It feels incomplete--it is incomplete. He hates it and he wants to throw it out like all his other attempts before it.
But Robby does opposite and sends it, and keeps his word by shutting off his omni for a time.
(And he won't throw it into the canal, as tempting as the idea is.) ]
[Johnny had a feeling these messages were coming, he had heard from Daniel and Tory about the situation. He had been nervous to actually reach out and talk about it himself, he felt like he had been indirectly messing up his son's life again and hadn't known exactly how to deal with it.
But having Robby come to him like this, dealing with something head on. That was something he was more comfortable with. He stares at the message briefly and thinks of the best way to answer this.
Eventually Robby will receive a video file in lieu of an actual message.]
Hey Robby.
I'm sending you this message because well- knowing my luck it would get blasted on the network. So I asked a student to help me get this set up so I could check before it went out.
Plus I think it's better to actually say this shit than type it to you. This is kind of important and I don't want to screw it up.
You don't have to respond like this- but just let me get this off my chest.
But well- So this all goes back to the first day I got here. It was fucking cold as balls and everyone who washed up was having a hell of a time transforming into their humans. Or whatever they are when they aren't squids.
I started practicing karate and that actually helped me regain my shape so I started trying to help other people do it.
So then Maul shows up and someone on the dumb phone had told me about how he paints his nails. I make a comment about that shit and his mom and it apparently sets him off. We get into a fight and well- Shit I had no idea how in over my head was with that one. It's not exactly pretty and I'm not too fucking proud of what happened there but that's how it goes.
[There's a pause and he let's that sit for a little. He breaths in, and then he breathes out before he continues.]
Second time around well- Paul came on the network and warned us all about this giant monster that was coming to town. ...And that we all had to do our part to protect it. He was my student and I wasn't about to let him go into that shit without me. That's not what a sensei does.
So I offered to help out and do whatever training I could. I met Gideon and a few other kids during that. We ran training drills, watched fucking Rocky to keep morale up. And I just did what I could to help. It felt like I was a part of something and I was doing the right thing.
Then the actual fight came around and I honestly don't know how I managed to survive as long as I did. But I got there- And then I saw that freaking son of a bitch swallow Paul.
I stopped thinking- I just started moving. Gideon's dad made me a ramp of bones, and a little cadre of skeletons and I went to give that thing the ass kicking of it's life. Didn't get far- But I tried.
[Okay. Another breath. Shit. This is harder to talk about than he thought it would be.]
Next time around was with Luna and Peter- Paimon? That's the king dude inside of him, right? Well I didn't know about that guy at the time. But I was pretty wasted when all of this happened. Those two were corrupted up to their fucking eye balls and were attacking people random people around town. I don't know if they got anyone important but they definitely went after the regular joes.
I was pretty fed up with all the people around here flaunting their powers. So I fucking hucked a beer bottle at them and told them to knock that shit off. It was pretty much your average bar fight but I was fighting fucking teenagers with magic powers. Managed to get the wand off the girl but after that I remember burning to a fucking crisp.
[Don't mind him as he cracks open a beer after he talks about dying while drunk. He doesn't down the whole can, but he does take a big sip.]
Last time was close to the same. One of chicks who lives at the Cockhouse isn't one of my biggest fans. Her and Faith, one of my students were out causing some fucking trouble. Girl decides to come at me with all her magic bullshit. Well- Faith comes in to try and protect me because we're tight. And I guess she knows I can't defend myself from that magic shit. Well her friend isn't a fan of that and she starts to go apeshit on her too.
So I knocked Faith out of the way and took the brunt of that shit too.
Like the whole Paul thing- I wasn't going to stand around and let someone get hurt because of the mistakes I made. Not one of my students.
That's just not in me.
...I don't know. That's about the just of it. If you have any other messages just give me a text back or some shit.
[ It's a lie that Robby takes around an hour to look back at his omni--he takes nearly two, with some of that involving holding onto it and refusing to turn it back on. Sitting so weightless in his hand, and he doesn't want to think about what's waiting for him when that's all that's on his mind.
It's in his omni too, a file waiting to be viewed. Robby opens it, holding his breath longer than he should between the sips of air he needs to take.
He gets far on the first attempt, in his defence. 'Remember burning to a fucking crisp--' is what finally pushes him to shut down the file, fling the thing at the wall and to fight the urge to tear apart the room he's in. Mainly because Mister LaRusso would hear it, and he doesn't need him involved in this right now. He doesn't need a sensei, he needs to fucking kick the walls down. Except he can't even kick them weakly, Mister LaRusso would hear that too, so seething on the bed it is.
Remember to breathe, some voice always tells him, when calming down is the last of what he wants to do. But with nothing but the anxiety eating at him, and he doesn't want to go for a walk, Robby knows needs to listen. Fucking breathe. Fucking listen to your dad talk about dying over and over.
Robby goes at it again, take two. Finds where he let off at, skips burning to a fucking crisp the second he hears remember. Fortunately, there isn't much more from that point, and there's details lacking in how he went out. It ends, an open invitation for questions, and Robby--he returns where he started before, staring at his omni, unsure of what to do.
He doesn't walk, for one, and he doesn't throw or think about breaking anything. He puts the omni down instead and lays in bed. Has a cry he doesn't mean to, and then stares at the wall for a good while.
[ It takes five hours in total for Robby to send another message after his first one. ]
i want to know if you had people who gave a shit about what happened to you. i want to know you've had people who cared
maul killing you was bullshit. luna's a shithead. peter/paimon wasn't corrupted but paimon does whatever luna wants.
trying to help people isn't wrong. punching a monster that ate someone you cared about isn't wrong. but if you're going to do that you need to learn to protect yourself too. i dont care if it doesnt feel natural. nothing here is natural. if you die again you better die having a way to fight against actual monsters and magic
make it your own. make it fit who you are. find a way to stop magic from touching you. i don't care, just think. drink less.
i trained with maul soon after i got here. i wanted to learn to use a weapon and i wasn't talking to mr larusso and you had made that post. i never knew he killed you. i never would've trained with him if i did.
[Johnny is anxious the entire five hours. He does his best to ignore it but he constantly finds himself checking his omni to see if there was a response. He worries that he screwed things up again, or how telling Robby all of this might have hurt him. He knows what he's done has already taken a toll on Robby.
The response finally comes through and he reads it over and his eyes pause on the apology.]
Robby.
You don't have anything to apologize for here. I should have told you all this sooner. I shouldn't have let you find out as much as you did on your own.
I'm also sorry it had to come out like this. There's no easy way to really say any of this so I did just come out and say it.
You had the right to be angry with me and LaRusso. And you did something without knowing what you were getting into. I've been there before myself.
If you're still feeling sorry about that you can get up and do your best. That's all you can do in situations like this.
Rounding back to all that other stuff.
I have had people here who care about me. I don't think I really payed much attention to it at first though. I was busy picking whatever fight I could. I was trying to act tougher than I was to make up for how out of my depth I was.
I had a student move in with me when I first got here. She was going through a rough spot and needed a place to stay so I let her in. She helped me get the dojo cleaned up and turned into something livable. She was a good kid, but messed up in her own right. She got all awake on me and we had a falling out before she outright left. But- She cared at least at first.
Paul and Gideon both gave a shit. And there was a Robot dude, Hayato. He helped me organize the first tournament I ran here. I think you would have liked him.
Sharon and Tory too. Except I think I gave Sharon more headaches than she deserved at first. I made a comment to her mom that kind of pissed a lot of people off.
Apparently you're not supposed to tell a chick you won't sleep with them because you're training their daughter.
Maul's reason was bullshit. Dudes a murderer and I was just the first chance he got to do it in awhile. We've kind of put that behind us. But you aren't wrong there at all.
I don't really care much for Luna, Peter, or the king dude, Paimon. But I get that they're uh- complicated and messed up people. We've all got reasons to not really like each other.
I've been working more on the think more drink less thing. I'm working on it. And I think you're right about the whole learning to fight fire with fire thing. I'm probably more stubborn about that then I should be.
[ Robby's listening for his omni this time. He doesn't rush for it when he hears it go off, but he's quicker to get to it before; re-reading the message a few times, trying to gather his thoughts together in the mess. ]
i don't know. okay? i can't think about me right now.
peter's a good guy. even if you don't like him, he didn't say shit about you to me. luna's the one who murdered you and wouldn't stop shittalking you after i told her to fuck off with it. after i've been helping peter deal with paimon. she knew you were my dad and she just doubled down
[ She said one thing and then doubled down, but resent and remember. ]
i dont know how you can put what maul did to you in the past. are you really training with that guy? tory said you were, but tory didn't even know why he killed you in the first place. she just decided to give secondhand therapy to a mass murderer
all those people were there, but did you have anyone to actually talk about this to? i don't know. it feels like someone like maul got all these chances but everyone just treats you like a joke who can't change. and i know i've been there too but that's what makes me angry
I have less of a problem with Peter now that I know more about his whole deal. I still don't understand it really but I know it's a weird mess. I thought he was unstable or some shit at first. I didn't find out there were two guys in there until a couple months ago. When there was the scare the wimpy kid part of him might be gone.
Yeah. She's kind of a bitch. There's some other shit that happened between us but we both have our reasons to be pissy with one another. I thought I was getting back at them for attacking me. Turns out I had the wrong guy.
[He didn't normally talk about the whole attacking Peter thing. But this was as much as he really wanted to.]
A little bit here and there. I don't exactly like the guy but... Look. I guess I spen a lot of time thinking I wasn't much better than him. People back at home had a tendancy to look at me like I'm some kind of psycho who doesn't deserve a second chance.
I guess I just related to him a little.
I don't exactly talk a lot about all this stuff exactly. I've talked to Paul, Sharon, Tory and couple other people. I've had other things I've been working on more than this. I've been trying to get my life together.
Look. I don't know exactly why they do that. It's not like he even has a dick to suck. But if I had to guess they're more afraid of what happens if he blows up than if I do. More eggshells are going to break if he fucks up than if I do.
But I've met some good people around here that don't think I'm joke. Those are the ones that I care about. The assholes who think I'm joke. Well they're the ones who don't really know me.
...And if you don't want them thinking that. Maybe I have to give them more reason not to.
[ ... ] i knew about maul's deal before i started training with him. if i'm fair, he was there for me sometimes. he said he's trying to change. but i never took him for a guy to kill someone over something so stupid these days. i would've been pissed if he did that to anyone else
maybe he is the kind of guy everyone needs to walk on eggshells for.
[ It's not the point he wants to make, ending on that like an agreement. I wish you got the same effort, repeating himself, when his dad's saying people have been there. And what does Robby know about Maul's support system, really?
He knows the shit people say and ask about his dad. He's had people say to his face they find his dad fun to watch.
Truthfully, he's just bitter. ]
my mind just keeps going around in circles. i know you're trying to do better now. we talked about some of this before. people aren't worth caring about if they're going to judge you but [ ... ] i want you to prove them wrong
From what I gather he had just managed to slip out of a very tight leash on the whole killing thing. I think I was more his shot to prove he could over what actually happened.
Which makes it even more bullshit. But I'm not exactly giving this guy points for brains here.
There could be something more to it. The whole pet project thing trying to make him better for their own benefit sounds more like it.
[There is a bit of the old Cobra Kai in Johnny that focuses on the prove them wrong. It was same urge that got him to go out and reopen the dojo in the first place. He knows a little better now. Knows to do it for the right reasons, to do it the right way instead of how Kreese had originally taught him. He pauses on that briefly before he types.]
Then let's prove them wrong. I'm game.
Not in depth or anything. Just that it happened. I don't know. I didn't get as much one on one time with her training back in our own world. And I was kind of freaked out to learn more about who I was going to be and how that me fucked up or did things better. I kind of kept Tory at arms length because of that.
I'm less freaked out about that now. And- I want to try and be there more for all of you. ...And yeah you can throw LaRusso into that bucket too.
[ He was hoping on some answer to him and Tory in asking about her, but Robby reads it over and finds himself as lost as he already was.
He just feels so exhausted. ]
even if you don't like him much to hang out with him often, it's good if you can have each other's backs. mr larusso i mean. i don't want you two to have a relationship just because of me. that's up to you two
i have these bracelets that come over the knuckles when you use them. they hit hard and mr viktor fitted some tech on them so they make a barrier around you
will you take them until you find something better you like. if they fit you
you can have both you know theyre still metal. you still hit with them. theyre not less offensive because they can protect you too stop sounding allergic to some fucking defense after everything we just talked about
[ Is he being overly sensitive? Maybe even misreading his dad? Sure is!! ]
[There's pause before Johnny responds to that. A slight recoil from the sudden tone Robby takes on. But... He gets it. And he knows he can't just back down here either.]
I didn't mean it like that. I'll use 'em and I'm sure I can use them offensively too. And I want to protect myself. I'm just saying I might swap them out for something that's more me when I do.
[ It takes Robby a moment to reply. It did get him worked up, the thought of his dad's stubbornness rearing its head. He doesn't even want to acknowledge he jumped to conclusions, but: ]
[ He doesn't know if he should be thanked for that last part, when he isn't sure how capable of not giving up he is. This is scary, as humiliating of a reaction that is: because the unknown regarding his dad's life scares him. It scares him to think about him dying again, whatever the reason. Their relationship was delicate before this aspect was thrown into it.
(Tory told him once about telling his dad he loved him, and he remembers it now, staring at the omni. But he can't. Is this love? It just feels like fear.)
Robby doesn't give any following text immediately, but give him about four or five minutes. ]
its ok uh before i found out everything i offered to help peter deal with paimon. i chatted with paimon before peter told me about it and he liked me. and peter has trouble feeling connected. like a person? because of the demon. but hes been trying to learn how to live with it more and i said i would help to make it calm down if it ever acts up i havent seen it since i found out about what happened. but i spoke with peter and i want to keep helping him
[ It's a block of text, maybe, but it's the only way he can get it out, slowly as he does. There's a lot there he's scared about too, but bottles aren't made to be empty. ]
Yeah. It took me awhile to kind of figure that out. I just saw the kid freakin' out and being a mess. Then I saw the times when the king- or Paimon showed up. Just thought it was corruption or weird shit going on with him. Either way I tried to get back at him for the whole death thing awhile back and got talked out of it.
Found out later on that things were more complicated. I've kind of had a few little talks with the both of them. But not really about all that.
Watch yourself around the whole demon guy. He seems like the more unstable of the two. But I think trying to help the guy isn't bad idea either.
Look. I'm glad you came to talk to me about this. I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you. Or to make you worry more or have it mess up things with people you liked here.
It doesn't change how long it took, or that I wasn't trying to hide it from you. But I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner and that you found out the way you did.
Her name's Willow. She's magic or some shit like Luna. A bit easier to deal with too.
Those are the biggest things. Some people get all pissy that I threw a bunch of bears at my students back when I was holding my tournament. But some bitch said the other teacher could fight a bear. So I was trying to prepare them what ever could get thrown at them.
...And I shit in a dude's clock once because he was an asshole.
But those are smaller than just about everything else.
So all these portals showed up that spit out things from different worlds. I found one that had a bunch of bears. So I brought my students. It wasn't about what we were fighting. They were going to be fighting each other in the tournament. Look- You don't train people to fight someone who can take on a bear by having them fight things that aren't bears. It was authentic.
Look- I met a girl who was going through some shit. I thought the dude was being like weird and awful to her. He was offering free fighting lessons and shit- so I showed up for it. Went through the training thing and there was a little reception at the end in his weird mansion. I decided to stick it to him by doing that. He has a weird obsession with clocks so it made sense at the time.
Pretty sure he wasn't all that bad of a dude in the long run. The chick kind of had a weird victim complex and started making the same cries about me not long after.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
later half of february, text (cw: death talk)
Date: 2023-03-14 12:53 am (UTC)But he remembers how well this didn't go when they talked about his dad's deaths (or, you know--his dad told him about them and how okay they were or whatever), and maybe this doesn't have to just be a coward's way of doing this. Or it can be that, but it's better than feeling ready to flip his shit than if he was doing this in his dad's presence.
Whether it'd be fair to, or not. He can never settle himself whenever he thinks about his dad and death, where he wants to scream about the entire thing.
So, text it is. It's like a letter, right, Tory? A letter he doesn't have to screw up the paper each time he starts and restarts, so many 'hey dads' reinserted and removed; the order he brings up points, the tone.
It takes longer to write than to read, probably. ]
i want you to tell me about your deaths. i'm not going to answer back right away and you don't have to either. this is just easier than a letter.
i know about darth maul and i know about luna and paimon. or peter. but i want to hear everything from you.
[ It feels incomplete--it is incomplete. He hates it and he wants to throw it out like all his other attempts before it.
But Robby does opposite and sends it, and keeps his word by shutting off his omni for a time.
(And he won't throw it into the canal, as tempting as the idea is.) ]
Video File
Date: 2023-03-14 01:51 am (UTC)But having Robby come to him like this, dealing with something head on. That was something he was more comfortable with. He stares at the message briefly and thinks of the best way to answer this.
Eventually Robby will receive a video file in lieu of an actual message.]
Hey Robby.
I'm sending you this message because well- knowing my luck it would get blasted on the network. So I asked a student to help me get this set up so I could check before it went out.
Plus I think it's better to actually say this shit than type it to you. This is kind of important and I don't want to screw it up.
You don't have to respond like this- but just let me get this off my chest.
But well- So this all goes back to the first day I got here. It was fucking cold as balls and everyone who washed up was having a hell of a time transforming into their humans. Or whatever they are when they aren't squids.
I started practicing karate and that actually helped me regain my shape so I started trying to help other people do it.
So then Maul shows up and someone on the dumb phone had told me about how he paints his nails. I make a comment about that shit and his mom and it apparently sets him off. We get into a fight and well- Shit I had no idea how in over my head was with that one. It's not exactly pretty and I'm not too fucking proud of what happened there but that's how it goes.
[There's a pause and he let's that sit for a little. He breaths in, and then he breathes out before he continues.]
Second time around well- Paul came on the network and warned us all about this giant monster that was coming to town. ...And that we all had to do our part to protect it. He was my student and I wasn't about to let him go into that shit without me. That's not what a sensei does.
So I offered to help out and do whatever training I could. I met Gideon and a few other kids during that. We ran training drills, watched fucking Rocky to keep morale up. And I just did what I could to help. It felt like I was a part of something and I was doing the right thing.
Then the actual fight came around and I honestly don't know how I managed to survive as long as I did. But I got there- And then I saw that freaking son of a bitch swallow Paul.
I stopped thinking- I just started moving. Gideon's dad made me a ramp of bones, and a little cadre of skeletons and I went to give that thing the ass kicking of it's life. Didn't get far- But I tried.
[Okay. Another breath. Shit. This is harder to talk about than he thought it would be.]
Next time around was with Luna and Peter- Paimon? That's the king dude inside of him, right? Well I didn't know about that guy at the time. But I was pretty wasted when all of this happened. Those two were corrupted up to their fucking eye balls and were attacking people random people around town. I don't know if they got anyone important but they definitely went after the regular joes.
I was pretty fed up with all the people around here flaunting their powers. So I fucking hucked a beer bottle at them and told them to knock that shit off. It was pretty much your average bar fight but I was fighting fucking teenagers with magic powers. Managed to get the wand off the girl but after that I remember burning to a fucking crisp.
[Don't mind him as he cracks open a beer after he talks about dying while drunk. He doesn't down the whole can, but he does take a big sip.]
Last time was close to the same. One of chicks who lives at the Cockhouse isn't one of my biggest fans. Her and Faith, one of my students were out causing some fucking trouble. Girl decides to come at me with all her magic bullshit. Well- Faith comes in to try and protect me because we're tight. And I guess she knows I can't defend myself from that magic shit. Well her friend isn't a fan of that and she starts to go apeshit on her too.
So I knocked Faith out of the way and took the brunt of that shit too.
Like the whole Paul thing- I wasn't going to stand around and let someone get hurt because of the mistakes I made. Not one of my students.
That's just not in me.
...I don't know. That's about the just of it. If you have any other messages just give me a text back or some shit.
I'm here all day. Lay 'em on me.
1/2
Date: 2023-03-14 02:50 am (UTC)It's in his omni too, a file waiting to be viewed. Robby opens it, holding his breath longer than he should between the sips of air he needs to take.
He gets far on the first attempt, in his defence. 'Remember burning to a fucking crisp--' is what finally pushes him to shut down the file, fling the thing at the wall and to fight the urge to tear apart the room he's in. Mainly because Mister LaRusso would hear it, and he doesn't need him involved in this right now. He doesn't need a sensei, he needs to fucking kick the walls down. Except he can't even kick them weakly, Mister LaRusso would hear that too, so seething on the bed it is.
Remember to breathe, some voice always tells him, when calming down is the last of what he wants to do. But with nothing but the anxiety eating at him, and he doesn't want to go for a walk, Robby knows needs to listen. Fucking breathe. Fucking listen to your dad talk about dying over and over.
Robby goes at it again, take two. Finds where he let off at, skips burning to a fucking crisp the second he hears remember. Fortunately, there isn't much more from that point, and there's details lacking in how he went out. It ends, an open invitation for questions, and Robby--he returns where he started before, staring at his omni, unsure of what to do.
He doesn't walk, for one, and he doesn't throw or think about breaking anything. He puts the omni down instead and lays in bed. Has a cry he doesn't mean to, and then stares at the wall for a good while.
And he considers what it is he wants to know. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-03-14 02:50 am (UTC)i want to know if you had people who gave a shit about what happened to you. i want to know you've had people who cared
maul killing you was bullshit. luna's a shithead. peter/paimon wasn't corrupted but paimon does whatever luna wants.
trying to help people isn't wrong. punching a monster that ate someone you cared about isn't wrong. but if you're going to do that you need to learn to protect yourself too. i dont care if it doesnt feel natural. nothing here is natural. if you die again you better die having a way to fight against actual monsters and magic
make it your own. make it fit who you are. find a way to stop magic from touching you. i don't care, just think. drink less.
i trained with maul soon after i got here. i wanted to learn to use a weapon and i wasn't talking to mr larusso and you had made that post. i never knew he killed you. i never would've trained with him if i did.
i'm sorry
Text
Date: 2023-03-14 03:16 pm (UTC)The response finally comes through and he reads it over and his eyes pause on the apology.]
Robby.
You don't have anything to apologize for here. I should have told you all this sooner. I shouldn't have let you find out as much as you did on your own.
I'm also sorry it had to come out like this. There's no easy way to really say any of this so I did just come out and say it.
You had the right to be angry with me and LaRusso. And you did something without knowing what you were getting into. I've been there before myself.
If you're still feeling sorry about that you can get up and do your best. That's all you can do in situations like this.
Rounding back to all that other stuff.
I have had people here who care about me. I don't think I really payed much attention to it at first though. I was busy picking whatever fight I could. I was trying to act tougher than I was to make up for how out of my depth I was.
I had a student move in with me when I first got here. She was going through a rough spot and needed a place to stay so I let her in. She helped me get the dojo cleaned up and turned into something livable. She was a good kid, but messed up in her own right. She got all awake on me and we had a falling out before she outright left. But- She cared at least at first.
Paul and Gideon both gave a shit. And there was a Robot dude, Hayato. He helped me organize the first tournament I ran here. I think you would have liked him.
Sharon and Tory too. Except I think I gave Sharon more headaches than she deserved at first. I made a comment to her mom that kind of pissed a lot of people off.
Apparently you're not supposed to tell a chick you won't sleep with them because you're training their daughter.
Maul's reason was bullshit. Dudes a murderer and I was just the first chance he got to do it in awhile. We've kind of put that behind us. But you aren't wrong there at all.
I don't really care much for Luna, Peter, or the king dude, Paimon. But I get that they're uh- complicated and messed up people. We've all got reasons to not really like each other.
I've been working more on the think more drink less thing. I'm working on it. And I think you're right about the whole learning to fight fire with fire thing. I'm probably more stubborn about that then I should be.
But how about you? How are you holding up here?
no subject
Date: 2023-03-14 03:56 pm (UTC)i don't know. okay? i can't think about me right now.
peter's a good guy. even if you don't like him, he didn't say shit about you to me. luna's the one who murdered you and wouldn't stop shittalking you after i told her to fuck off with it. after i've been helping peter deal with paimon. she knew you were my dad and she just doubled down
[ She said one thing and then doubled down, but resent and remember. ]
i dont know how you can put what maul did to you in the past. are you really training with that guy? tory said you were, but tory didn't even know why he killed you in the first place. she just decided to give secondhand therapy to a mass murderer
all those people were there, but did you have anyone to actually talk about this to? i don't know. it feels like someone like maul got all these chances but everyone just treats you like a joke who can't change. and i know i've been there too but that's what makes me angry
i dont want people talking about you like a joke
no subject
Date: 2023-03-14 04:55 pm (UTC)I have less of a problem with Peter now that I know more about his whole deal. I still don't understand it really but I know it's a weird mess. I thought he was unstable or some shit at first. I didn't find out there were two guys in there until a couple months ago. When there was the scare the wimpy kid part of him might be gone.
Yeah. She's kind of a bitch. There's some other shit that happened between us but we both have our reasons to be pissy with one another. I thought I was getting back at them for attacking me. Turns out I had the wrong guy.
[He didn't normally talk about the whole attacking Peter thing. But this was as much as he really wanted to.]
A little bit here and there. I don't exactly like the guy but... Look. I guess I spen a lot of time thinking I wasn't much better than him. People back at home had a tendancy to look at me like I'm some kind of psycho who doesn't deserve a second chance.
I guess I just related to him a little.
I don't exactly talk a lot about all this stuff exactly. I've talked to Paul, Sharon, Tory and couple other people. I've had other things I've been working on more than this. I've been trying to get my life together.
Look. I don't know exactly why they do that. It's not like he even has a dick to suck. But if I had to guess they're more afraid of what happens if he blows up than if I do. More eggshells are going to break if he fucks up than if I do.
But I've met some good people around here that don't think I'm joke. Those are the ones that I care about. The assholes who think I'm joke. Well they're the ones who don't really know me.
...And if you don't want them thinking that. Maybe I have to give them more reason not to.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-14 05:47 pm (UTC)maybe he is the kind of guy everyone needs to walk on eggshells for.
[ It's not the point he wants to make, ending on that like an agreement. I wish you got the same effort, repeating himself, when his dad's saying people have been there. And what does Robby know about Maul's support system, really?
He knows the shit people say and ask about his dad. He's had people say to his face they find his dad fun to watch.
Truthfully, he's just bitter. ]
my mind just keeps going around in circles. i know you're trying to do better now. we talked about some of this before. people aren't worth caring about if they're going to judge you but [ ... ] i want you to prove them wrong
did tory ever talk to you about maul?
no subject
Date: 2023-03-15 02:44 am (UTC)Which makes it even more bullshit. But I'm not exactly giving this guy points for brains here.
There could be something more to it. The whole pet project thing trying to make him better for their own benefit sounds more like it.
[There is a bit of the old Cobra Kai in Johnny that focuses on the prove them wrong. It was same urge that got him to go out and reopen the dojo in the first place. He knows a little better now. Knows to do it for the right reasons, to do it the right way instead of how Kreese had originally taught him. He pauses on that briefly before he types.]
Then let's prove them wrong. I'm game.
Not in depth or anything. Just that it happened. I don't know. I didn't get as much one on one time with her training back in our own world. And I was kind of freaked out to learn more about who I was going to be and how that me fucked up or did things better. I kind of kept Tory at arms length because of that.
I'm less freaked out about that now. And- I want to try and be there more for all of you. ...And yeah you can throw LaRusso into that bucket too.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-15 02:41 pm (UTC)He just feels so exhausted. ]
even if you don't like him much to hang out with him often, it's good if you can have each other's backs. mr larusso i mean. i don't want you two to have a relationship just because of me. that's up to you two
i have these bracelets that come over the knuckles when you use them. they hit hard and mr viktor fitted some tech on them so they make a barrier around you
will you take them until you find something better you like. if they fit you
no subject
Date: 2023-03-16 02:21 am (UTC)I don't know exactly how it'll work out. But we have been talking a bit more and it hasn't gone catastrophic . Who knows?
I'll give 'em a shot. I might look for something more to go on the offense than defense. But I'll use those until we figure something out.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-16 02:55 am (UTC)theyre still metal. you still hit with them. theyre not less offensive because they can protect you too
stop sounding allergic to some fucking defense after everything we just talked about
[ Is he being overly sensitive? Maybe even misreading his dad? Sure is!! ]
no subject
Date: 2023-03-19 02:06 am (UTC)I didn't mean it like that.
I'll use 'em and I'm sure I can use them offensively too. And I want to protect myself.
I'm just saying I might swap them out for something that's more me when I do.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-19 04:23 pm (UTC)okay
[ Another pause. ]
sorry
no subject
Date: 2023-03-21 03:10 am (UTC)Don't mention it.
[There's a pause before he adds in.]
Thanks.
For giving a shit.
And not giving up on me.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-21 09:15 am (UTC)(Tory told him once about telling his dad he loved him, and he remembers it now, staring at the omni. But he can't. Is this love? It just feels like fear.)
Robby doesn't give any following text immediately, but give him about four or five minutes. ]
its ok
uh
before i found out everything i offered to help peter deal with paimon. i chatted with paimon before peter told me about it and he liked me. and peter has trouble feeling connected. like a person? because of the demon. but hes been trying to learn how to live with it more and i said i would help to make it calm down if it ever acts up
i havent seen it since i found out about what happened. but i spoke with peter and i want to keep helping him
[ It's a block of text, maybe, but it's the only way he can get it out, slowly as he does. There's a lot there he's scared about too, but bottles aren't made to be empty. ]
i just wanted you to know
no subject
Date: 2023-03-28 03:16 am (UTC)It took me awhile to kind of figure that out.
I just saw the kid freakin' out and being a mess. Then I saw the times when the king- or Paimon showed up. Just thought it was corruption or weird shit going on with him. Either way I tried to get back at him for the whole death thing awhile back and got talked out of it.
Found out later on that things were more complicated. I've kind of had a few little talks with the both of them. But not really about all that.
Watch yourself around the whole demon guy. He seems like the more unstable of the two.
But I think trying to help the guy isn't bad idea either.
Look.
I'm glad you came to talk to me about this.
I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you.
Or to make you worry more or have it mess up things with people you liked here.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-28 06:56 am (UTC)you dying didnt screw up my relationships with people
you should have told me. but im pissed off at other people for what they did
so whatever
do you know who the friend is that your student tried to stop?
your last one
i dont want to get to know another person and it turns out they got you
no subject
Date: 2023-03-29 12:20 am (UTC)But I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner and that you found out the way you did.
Her name's Willow. She's magic or some shit like Luna. A bit easier to deal with too.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-29 08:34 am (UTC)i dont know any willows so. guess thats good
no subject
Date: 2023-03-30 03:28 am (UTC)She's a total nerd and kind of a buzz kill.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-30 10:09 am (UTC)well
shitty convo but
nothing else i need to know?
no subject
Date: 2023-04-01 01:35 am (UTC)Some people get all pissy that I threw a bunch of bears at my students back when I was holding my tournament. But some bitch said the other teacher could fight a bear. So I was trying to prepare them what ever could get thrown at them.
...And I shit in a dude's clock once because he was an asshole.
But those are smaller than just about everything else.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-01 08:24 am (UTC)ugh. give him a second.
okay. ]
where did you even get the bears
arent you meant to be training them against the, you know, beasts?
why do you need bears
also wtf his clock
why
no subject
Date: 2023-04-02 04:46 pm (UTC)I found one that had a bunch of bears. So I brought my students.
It wasn't about what we were fighting.
They were going to be fighting each other in the tournament.
Look- You don't train people to fight someone who can take on a bear by having them fight things that aren't bears. It was authentic.
Look- I met a girl who was going through some shit.
I thought the dude was being like weird and awful to her.
He was offering free fighting lessons and shit- so I showed up for it.
Went through the training thing and there was a little reception at the end in his weird mansion.
I decided to stick it to him by doing that.
He has a weird obsession with clocks so it made sense at the time.
Pretty sure he wasn't all that bad of a dude in the long run.
The chick kind of had a weird victim complex and started making the same cries about me not long after.
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