please do not worry you have always been here for me so far and that has helped me a lot
and you know i think maybe this place is a chance for you and your father since you are so far away from home maybe things can be different at some point somehow i do not know if it is the same way for you but even with all the awful things and bad moments and all the ways he hurt me somehow all i can think about are the few good moments i have had with my father and when i think of those i really miss him so i guess i am a little envious of you hehe just a tiny bit though please do not worry
i really hope you get your chance with your father robby
Honestly this breaks Johnny's heart more than a little to read. He hadn't really considered how everyone else here might be missing their own families.
And how him and Robby not getting along could be a kick in the face to some. ...And how them just being there was a kick in the face to others.]
Look, kid. Don't know what's going on. But I think you have the wrong number.
[ Chizuru is obviously just confused. She usually doesn't pay much attention to usernames, but as she looks to check the one attached to this message, that is just Robby's username, isn't it.. ]
i am just talking to you robby like i have been this entire time we were talking about our fathers remember
Give her a moment. The reason she writes out those words is because she's processing it.. Sure, the username may be Robby's, and she's not too sure why Robby's father is instead using it now, but she doubts that Robby would joke like this at her after all they discussed.
Which leaves only one possibility - that it really is Robby's father, somehow. ]
sir i am so sorry i do not know how these messages ended up with you all of a sudden please do not let robby know
[ Because Chizuru feels like it's probably her fault that this happened, and the last thing she wants is for Robby to get mad at her for sending messages about his dad to his dad.. ]
[Well shit. He feels a little bad reading this. Knowing that it got sent to him like this. But he also feels pretty shitty that Robby is having conversations like this about him too. He gives a little sigh. One day his failures might stop coming back to haunt him but this wasn't the day.]
Don't worry about it, kid. I wont tell him or anything. ...We don't really have that kind of relationship anyways.
[ See, the words he's saying here - that's definitely the impression she got from everything Robby said. 'We don't really have that kind of relationship.'
She wonders if that's exactly the reason why she should just ignore this. Having made her apologies, having asked him to not tell Robby - maybe it would be better to back off, rather than involve herself into something, especially with how overly polite Chizuru is.
.. but she can't help it. She cares about Robby too much. He's such a sweet friend. So-- ]
fixing things sounds good sir i know that if my father was here and tried to genuinely fix things with me i would probably be glad despite everything
[ Despite all the messy stuff between them - similar to the messy stuff that seems to exist between Robby and his father. ]
[ The thought of that is.. honestly kind of sad to Chizuru. But on the other hand, she can also get where it comes from - and where Robby's feelings come from, with what he's told her. So.. ]
i guess all you can do is try
[ Even if no one is sure where exactly the outcome of that trying will be. ]
I don't know if it makes you feel any better. But my dad did the same thing. So I get it.
And... I don't want to do it to Robby. I just. I already have done it to him before. I don't want want to keep doing it to him. But I'm having trouble finding a way to let him know I want to be there. That I want in his life. Even if I don't deserve it.
[ She's almost tempted to ask how he could do that to Robby if he knows what it's like. But.. that question feels a little bit too rude, and Chizuru does feel like there might be something here she doesn't understand. Maybe it's since her father has only been gone for about five years now, rather than her entire life. Or maybe it's something she'll understand when she's older.
..
She tries to push aside the thought for now, even though it's hard. ]
if it is alright for me to ask what did you do so far to let him know you want to be there
Before I got here. The last day I remember from back home. He came to my house. He got into some trouble and I took him in and tried to help. There were some problems- Yeah. But we were going to figure it out. I didn't really know what he needed but I was trying.
I hear things go to shit back home after that. And I can't help that. I know what I was trying to do.
When he got here- I've offered to let him stay with me. I've tried to reach out a couple times. Just- Show him that I'm around and want to talk. Or tell him he's doing good. I never got that as a kid. I've... Well I guess we're pretty different. Each time I've got told to go away or that he needs space. And I've tried to respect that.
Mostly because Chizuru is so worried about what to do here. It feels right to communicate what Robby told her to Johnny here, because it might be the only way to give the man an idea of what Robby told her, of what he might want.
On the other hand, it feels a little like betraying Robby's trust. What if he doesn't want her to tell him? She imagines that might be the case..
.. it feels a little like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
On the other hand, reading what Robby's father is saying here, it sounds like he really does want to work things out. Like things are maybe better with him than they are with Chizuru's own dad.
So.. ]
he told me he wanted to see you
[ Sorry, Robby. ]
he wants you to be the one to reach out rather than him having to ask you to see him that is all i know sir i hope it helps i think he would be happier with you than without you
[There is a pause and he keeps that in mind for the future. He's not really sure how exactly to go about it. At least not with Robby. For some reason it was always more complicated when Robby was involved.]
I'll keep all that in mind, kid. I'll try not to let him down either. Can't promise that. But I'll try.
[ She feels like she can say that, because it's not like she's saying that for Robby, or in his place. She's saying it for herself, because it's nice to see that there at least fathers out there who want to try. ]
if there is ever anything i can do to help then let me know robby is very important to me i want him to be happy
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
text; un: lookingforshinsengumi (misfire!)
Date: 2022-11-11 09:36 pm (UTC)you have always been here for me so far and that has helped me a lot
and you know i think maybe this place is a chance for you and your father
since you are so far away from home maybe things can be different at some point somehow
i do not know if it is the same way for you but
even with all the awful things and bad moments and all the ways he hurt me somehow all i can think about are the few good moments i have had with my father
and when i think of those
i really miss him
so i guess i am a little envious of you hehe
just a tiny bit though
please do not worry
i really hope you get your chance with your father robby
Text UN: Kickflips (Event messed up username.)
Date: 2022-11-11 10:24 pm (UTC)Honestly this breaks Johnny's heart more than a little to read. He hadn't really considered how everyone else here might be missing their own families.
And how him and Robby not getting along could be a kick in the face to some. ...And how them just being there was a kick in the face to others.]
Look, kid.
Don't know what's going on.
But I think you have the wrong number.
no subject
Date: 2022-11-13 02:42 pm (UTC)[ Chizuru is obviously just confused. She usually doesn't pay much attention to usernames, but as she looks to check the one attached to this message, that is just Robby's username, isn't it.. ]
i am just talking to you robby
like i have been this entire time
we were talking about our fathers remember
no subject
Date: 2022-11-18 03:22 am (UTC)I kind of got that.
Which is weird because I'm usually the last one to get this kind of shit.
But I am Robby's dad.
no subject
Date: 2022-11-20 07:38 pm (UTC)robbys dad
[ ...
Give her a moment. The reason she writes out those words is because she's processing it.. Sure, the username may be Robby's, and she's not too sure why Robby's father is instead using it now, but she doubts that Robby would joke like this at her after all they discussed.
Which leaves only one possibility - that it really is Robby's father, somehow. ]
sir i am so sorry
i do not know how these messages ended up with you all of a sudden
please do not let robby know
[ Because Chizuru feels like it's probably her fault that this happened, and the last thing she wants is for Robby to get mad at her for sending messages about his dad to his dad.. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-11-22 02:55 am (UTC)But he also feels pretty shitty that Robby is having conversations like this about him too.
He gives a little sigh. One day his failures might stop coming back to haunt him but this wasn't the day.]
Don't worry about it, kid.
I wont tell him or anything.
...We don't really have that kind of relationship anyways.
I'm trying to fix that.
But we're not there yet.
no subject
Date: 2022-11-24 07:20 am (UTC)She wonders if that's exactly the reason why she should just ignore this. Having made her apologies, having asked him to not tell Robby - maybe it would be better to back off, rather than involve herself into something, especially with how overly polite Chizuru is.
.. but she can't help it. She cares about Robby too much. He's such a sweet friend. So-- ]
fixing things sounds good sir
i know that if my father was here and tried to genuinely fix things with me i would probably be glad despite everything
[ Despite all the messy stuff between them - similar to the messy stuff that seems to exist between Robby and his father. ]
maybe robby will feel the same way
no subject
Date: 2022-11-27 04:58 am (UTC)I don't blame him if he doesn't though.
He's got every right to feel the way he does about me.
no subject
Date: 2022-11-29 07:29 am (UTC)i guess all you can do is try
[ Even if no one is sure where exactly the outcome of that trying will be. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-12-02 01:00 am (UTC)Look. I don't plan on stopping.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-04 06:14 pm (UTC)Thankfully Johnny's text didn't get accidentally misfired to someone out of said context. ]
my father stopped
[ .. why is she typing it? She isn't sure, especially since she hasn't even told many people in this place about this.
Maybe it's to give him a bit more of an idea? Who knows. ]
one day he just left
and he did not come back
i do not think he was ever planning on coming back
please do not let robby feel that way
it feels awful
no subject
Date: 2022-12-06 03:06 am (UTC)But my dad did the same thing.
So I get it.
And... I don't want to do it to Robby.
I just. I already have done it to him before.
I don't want want to keep doing it to him.
But I'm having trouble finding a way to let him know I want to be there.
That I want in his life.
Even if I don't deserve it.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-06 08:03 pm (UTC)..
She tries to push aside the thought for now, even though it's hard. ]
if it is alright for me to ask
what did you do so far to let him know you want to be there
no subject
Date: 2022-12-07 02:50 am (UTC)The last day I remember from back home.
He came to my house.
He got into some trouble and I took him in and tried to help.
There were some problems- Yeah.
But we were going to figure it out.
I didn't really know what he needed but I was trying.
I hear things go to shit back home after that.
And I can't help that.
I know what I was trying to do.
When he got here-
I've offered to let him stay with me.
I've tried to reach out a couple times.
Just- Show him that I'm around and want to talk.
Or tell him he's doing good.
I never got that as a kid.
I've... Well I guess we're pretty different.
Each time I've got told to go away or that he needs space.
And I've tried to respect that.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-09 06:43 pm (UTC)Mostly because Chizuru is so worried about what to do here. It feels right to communicate what Robby told her to Johnny here, because it might be the only way to give the man an idea of what Robby told her, of what he might want.
On the other hand, it feels a little like betraying Robby's trust. What if he doesn't want her to tell him? She imagines that might be the case..
.. it feels a little like being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
On the other hand, reading what Robby's father is saying here, it sounds like he really does want to work things out. Like things are maybe better with him than they are with Chizuru's own dad.
So.. ]
he told me he wanted to see you
[ Sorry, Robby. ]
he wants you to be the one to reach out rather than him having to ask you to see him
that is all i know sir
i hope it helps
i think he would be happier with you than without you
no subject
Date: 2022-12-12 04:49 am (UTC)[There is a pause and he keeps that in mind for the future. He's not really sure how exactly to go about it. At least not with Robby. For some reason it was always more complicated when Robby was involved.]
I'll keep all that in mind, kid.
I'll try not to let him down either.
Can't promise that.
But I'll try.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-13 09:02 pm (UTC)[ She feels like she can say that, because it's not like she's saying that for Robby, or in his place. She's saying it for herself, because it's nice to see that there at least fathers out there who want to try. ]
if there is ever anything i can do to help
then let me know
robby is very important to me
i want him to be happy
no subject
Date: 2023-01-01 04:54 pm (UTC)I know it might not seem like it.
But he's important to me too.
And I want him to know that.
But I'll keep you posted there, kid.
Just keep an eye out on him.